Wednesday, November 28, 2012

True "Fashion" American: A Player's Adornment

    A night of True American playing is not to be taken lightly. The game is relentless and can turn into a danger zone in a hurry. Take into consideration, the game can go on for hours. It is that fun. You will sweat, you will fall, and you will drink yourself into a silly mess.
   My advice is that you prepare yourself for the inevitable. A True American would most likely sport a cape. Think about it, you are preparing to leap from cushion to chair to table to pillow, a little bit of Superman style makes more sense than anything else. Plus, have you ever been drunk and put on a cape? It is fun in itself. Enough said.

  Under the cape, it is most wise to keep it simple and light. Extra weight is unnecessary...I mean you want to win, do you not? If you are planning to wear a bulky hooded sweatshirt with "I finally fit into these skinny" jeans, you are planning to lose! I know, I know, you are probably sacrificing a night of dancing and overpriced lemon drops enjoyment at a bar crawling with drunken idiots, but save that over-starched button-down or squint-worthy sequin skirt for next Saturday.  Tonight, you are playing True American. As for me, I would wear some comfortable jeggings or "f*** me pants" aka yogas with a tee shirt, and     guys it is an easy task for you to slip on some loose jeans and a tee.

   Footwear in this game may be the most important. Remember when you were eight years old, you opened your stocking and found those goofy, fuzzy slipper socks; The ones that had a giant Ninja Turtle head on the toes that made absolutely no sense because they were socks. You could not wear them with shoes and you would not wear them as slippers because the heel never lasted over a week without turning into a giant hole. Thanks mom (complete with sarcasm). Well, those socks, those are now useful. On the way to the playing field (aka the apartment of whoever has the most room for drunkards to be bouncing around on pillows, one that can get trashed) stop at Meijer and get those fuzzy socks with the rubber polka dot bottoms. Again, you may ask, why? This is not need grippers for leaping from space to space! Or, if you insist, spend the cash on legitimate rubber bottomed house shoes. Do not be a tough guy and not wear socks, you will burn the skin off the bottoms of your feet...if you play anyway as I do. It is a competition.
   Other than this clothing and accessory advice, I will tell you nothing more but to have your facts straight, maybe even watch Jeopardy for a couple of weeks before game play. This game is not for the faint of heart. Get into it, get drunk and get your friends involved. True American game night is going to be the night of your life!

Good Luck! Now go read the rules!!  True American Game Rules